Can I give you a hug?
I used to hug without thought- my heart leading while my head ran to catch up. One, now funny, story of a new friend visibly recoiling from what was meant as my aligning and comforting embrace makes me ask now, “Can I hug you?”
Lately I’ve noticed the hugs I give and receive are harder. They last a little longer. I think it’s because it’s what is keeping me, and maybe them, hanging on.
As a child I remember people saying “Let me hug your neck!” when unexpected guests dropped by. My Nana taught me the rhyme, “I love you, a bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck”. Not everyone always said “I love you” aloud, but the nonverbal hugs were plentiful and given without hesitation. The door was always open, a pot of coffee ready to be brewed, hugs, and a “be careful” always exist at the threshold of my grandparents house. Still do, although we say “I love you” a lot more.
The t-shirt I have on is one of my favorites. Hug More Necks. I wore it once on a girls trip to Hot Springs, NC. We drank lemonade out of glass bottles. Drove with the windows down. Talked about our husbands and our children. Reminded ourselves of the girls we we were, honored the women we are. We stayed in a small hotel run by an amazing couple. Checking in the wife said, I love your shirt. Can we hug? Of course! Now this sweet couple continues to recover from the flood that wiped out most of Hot Springs. The place I carry in my heart as a grounder will look differently when I return. I bet the hug may be stronger too.
Wrapping your arms around someone is a ritual. It’s impulsive and fully of the present moment. It is alignment-of loving, compassion, greeting, support, celebration. For me, it’s an active celebration of a person’s irreplaceableness in the world. Hug more necks, y’all. May we honor the sacred in all of us and become more connected.
